Triggers, negative thinking patterns, and other fun stuff

What are your triggers? We all have them. Some of us are more aware of our triggers than others. Others are unaware that they even have triggers. They may perceive others as doing things "to" them, rather than reacting, because the feeling and the wound lies within us, and others bring that wound out. One of the quickest ways you can discover what your triggers are is by getting grounded in your body. When you have a fear trigger you may feel a knot in your stomach, or you may feel your jaw clenching, maybe you feel like your chest is constricted, or your eye starts twitching. When you have an anger trigger, your body may feel hot, or your fists may tighten, and the muscles in your entire body tighten. When you experience a sad trigger, maybe you feel a dull pain in your chest area.

When a trigger occurs inside us, we can easily get stuck in that intense feeling. We can either create a story around the trigger or we can judge ourselves when we become triggered. A trigger is just a trigger, it is an emotional response that may or may not have a meaning. The trigger becomes a "stuck" emotion when we tell ourselves a story around the trigger and play it on a loop in our brain. Most of the ways our thinking has been constructed was built in childhood. Thus, when someone says or does something in the present moment and we feel an extremely strong emotion to the other person, it is usually not about that person or current event. Most likely, we are responding to  a pattern that was created at another time in an earlier scenario that reminds us of the one that is happening now. Sometimes we can actually re-create these experiences by replaying these same patterns in our heads and looking to find outside events, experiences, and people that will confirm our current patterns. Did you feel rejected as a child and now perceive others as rejecting you all the time, thus responding in a way that would put you in positions that would increase your chances of being rejected? Maybe you were the protector in your family and you find yourself in lots of under-dog situations always stepping in to defend someone who "appears" weaker. Are you around people who can't do the job as good as you and find yourself constantly criticizing those people? Is it possible that your own parental role models talked to you the way you talk to yourself or other people now?

See if you can figure out two or three of your recurring triggers. What is the experience, comment, or person that always pushes that button? If you can pinpoint a few of these and then notice where you feel the trigger in your body, and even breathe your way through it, while also noticing the thoughts you are saying to yourself, you may be able to slowly and surely (this takes years of practice sometimes with the deeper triggers) stop responding, reacting, and getting stuck inside the trigger.