Sometimes the hardest work in therapy isn’t learning something new — it’s turning toward the parts of ourselves we’ve tried so hard to avoid.

Whether you call it Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, or shadow work (Carl Jung’s term), the heart of the process is the same: learning to integrate the pieces of yourself that got pushed away, hidden, or silenced in order to survive.

I draw from Internal Family Systems (IFS) principles and shadow work (Carl Jung) to help clients make sense of their inner world. Sometimes we use the language of “parts.” Other times we explore archetypes, shadows, or patterns in the ego. The words aren’t as important as the experience of beginning to feel whole again.

What Are “Parts” — Really?

Some people hesitate when they hear the term parts. It can feel abstract, like being asked to talk to imaginary people inside your head. If that doesn’t resonate, here’s another way to look at it:

Parts are biologically protective — and at one time, they were absolutely necessary. When you were younger or in a situation where you didn’t have safety, power, or support, your nervous system created strategies to help you survive. These weren’t flaws; they were brilliant adaptations that kept you connected, defended, or able to endure.

But the brain is efficient. Once a survival pathway is wired in, it tends to repeat. Neurons that fire together wire together, which means the same protective response can get triggered again and again, even when the original danger is gone. Over time, these strategies become rigid and fixed, almost automatic.

• The caretaker may come from networks tied to vigilance and empathy.

• The inner critic may light up stress and self-referential pathways.

• The exiled child may activate memory and emotion networks tied to fear or shame.

These parts aren’t “bad” — they simply don’t realize life has changed. Therapy helps them soften and update so they no longer have to run the show.

The Shadow We Carry

Carl Jung described the shadow as everything pushed into the unconscious because it wasn’t safe, acceptable, or welcomed. That can include painful emotions like shame or fear, but also blessings in disguise and strengths like healthy anger, sexuality, or confidence that were never allowed space.

In IFS, the closest parallel is the exile — the vulnerable part that carries raw wounds from trauma, neglect, or rejection. Both shadow and exiles live outside everyday awareness, hidden away because they once felt like “too much.”

The shadow, however, is broader. It holds not only wounded parts but also disowned qualities that were never integrated into our sense of self. Either way, the work is similar: gently turning toward what was pushed away, meeting it with curiosity instead of shame, and allowing it to reintegrate into the whole of who you are.

Why This Matters

When you’ve been through trauma or emotional neglect, your nervous system learns to create roles:

• The caretaker who carries everyone else’s needs

• The inner critic who won’t let you rest

• The numb part that checks out when life gets too heavy

• The angry part that protects your most vulnerable wounds

For a long time, these parts might feel like “just who you are.” But with therapy, you start to see them differently: defenses that once kept you safe, but don’t have to control you anymore.

What It Feels Like in Session

This isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about making room for more of yourself. In session, we might:

• Notice what’s happening in your body when a part shows up.

• Give that part a voice to understand what it’s been protecting you from.

• Explore where it came from and why it had to take on that role.

• Invite compassion and curiosity toward it, instead of shame.

Some people connect with the language of “parts.” Others resonate more with archetypes (like The Caregiver, The Rebel, The Innocent) or see parts as patterns in the ego — chronic thought or feeling loops that became over-identified as “me.” However we frame it, the process is the same: what was once exiled can be welcomed home.

The Link to Archetypes and MBTI

For those drawn to personality and self-discovery, this work often overlaps with Jung’s archetypes and MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). Both are ways of understanding the patterns we carry — the voices that get loud, the roles we slip into, the functions we lean on.

If you’d like to explore that connection further, visit my MBTI page where I dive deeper into Jungian functions, personality types, and how they intersect with therapy. It’s not about putting you in a box — it’s about finding the language of your psyche and seeing how it fits with the patterns you’re working to integrate.

What This Work Can Help With

Parts work and shadow integration can be especially powerful for:

• Healing childhood trauma and neglect

• Breaking cycles of codependency

• Working through shame and self-criticism

• Managing anxiety, panic, and overthinking

• Easing depression and emotional numbness

• Finding your voice in relationships

When the parts of you that once felt exiled finally have space, your nervous system relaxes. You stop living at war with yourself. You begin to move through the world with more freedom and choice.

Returning to Wholeness

At the end of the day, this work isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you return to yourself — not the fragmented self divided by survival, but the integrated self that knows peace.

If you’re ready to begin that process, I’d be honored to walk with you.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation and let’s start the work of bringing your exiled parts home.