Pain as an Invitation

Most of us spend our lives trying to get rid of pain. We numb it, fight it, distract from it. We tell ourselves pain means something is wrong — with us, with our choices, with life itself.

But pain can also open a door.

Research on posttraumatic growth shows that people who live through suffering often report deeper relationships, stronger resilience, and new purpose — not because the pain disappears, but because it reshapes how they relate to life itself (PubMed).

My Experience as Therapist and Human

I’ve watched this repeatedly with clients — and I’ve experienced it myself.

No, we don’t ever want pain. But when I began to use my pain — to write, to dance, to sit with it and let it move through me — new insights began to emerge.

Pain didn’t vanish. It shifted. It became an invitation: to slow down, to listen, to tend, to create.

An Alchemist in Disguise

Pain is not punishment. It is not proof of brokenness.

Pain can be an alchemist — turning avoidance into agency, shame into tenderness, numbness into presence.

You can fight it. You can numb it. Or you can ask it what it’s here to teach you.

When we do, pain becomes the very ground we rise from. See more in my recent publication on Elephant Journal.

Taking the Next Step

If you’re curious about how pain might become an invitation in your own life, I explore this more deeply in my trauma therapy services — where we use approaches like Brainspotting, parts work, and mindfulness to help pain move through rather than stay stuck.

You can also join my newsletter where I share reflections on healing, creativity, and resilience — little reminders that you’re not alone on the climb.

Let pain be the teacher, not the punishment. Let it be the portal. And let your next breath be the beginning of the climb.